Talk to Fa

I couldn’t love my dog properly. I didn’t know how. He put me through the wringer. A real challenge. I also realized I didn’t love caring for an animal full-time. It was a real commitment. I wasn’t ready for it. Overnight, my freedom was gone. I was just thrown into it. My life changed drastically. I hated it. Over time, I got used to the rhythm of living with a dog. But it was never natural for me. Giving commands. Training. Being a pack leader or whatever. That just isn’t me. Until the end, he felt like a stranger. I often felt like an outsider at home. I pushed my feelings aside and did my best. It felt like he hated me. He really tested me. He bit my face. He bit my hands and fingers many times. He snapped at me when I tried to put a harness on him. I never knew when it would happen. I was scared of him. I felt guilty because I couldn’t give him what I thought he needed. Every time he snapped at me, it felt like he was saying, “That’s not it, try again.” What I really needed was not to have a dog and to get in touch with myself. If I knew myself better, I wouldn’t have gotten a dog.