On a Mission
It wasn’t the right time until now. It’s crazy how such a simple act had to wait. I wanted to say just one phrase, but I hesitated for a long time. I couldn’t say it because it wasn’t in me. Many have said it to me. Part of me wondered if they really knew what it meant. If they actually had it in them. If they felt it. If they were it. I only want to say what I mean and mean what I say. I’ve said things I now regret. We can’t take back what we’ve said. Words are powerful like that.
You know that I know that you know.
i love crossing paths and exchanging stories with people for a brief period of time, but i’m usually very self-contained and very content by myself. i prefer to go back to my own company at the end of the day because nobody is as sweet as my own company. after i met her, i missed her and being with her. i missed her warm energy. it was one of the very rare few times i felt being with someone was better than being by myself.
I was driving on winding mountain roads. I’d lowered the gear and opened the windows slightly to let the fresh air in. The trees had been burnt by the fire. The air was crisp. The fire must have brought a renewal to the area. As I slowed down to let a deer cross, I wondered whether people like me, natural explorers, travel to new places in search of our true homes and soul families. I recently read somewhere that most of us live in environments that are not suited for our unique designs. The deer stopped and looked straight into my eyes. I felt seen and somehow validated for the thought.
i don’t have to tell anyone anything. if they wanted to know, they would ask, and i would answer. i am a vessel and a receiver. i am just going to wait and respond to what fills me with joy and excitement. if it’s aligned, it will happen effortlessly. if it’s not, it will fall apart. i will let it be what it is.
it’s not that i want to live here well, maybe, but i am not sure all i can say is i am open to possibilities what i know for sure is my soul has brought me here to explore to have fun to connect the dots to make sense of myself to return to my inner child to lead and prepare me for what’s coming
Do you love it? Or do you love the idea of it?
Do you love me? Or do you love the idea of who I could be in your world?
I feel it coming.
I welcome what comes But I do not chase what leaves I cultivate what stays But I do not force what is misaligned I love what loves me But I can also love from a distance.