Someone recently told me my energy was addictive. They meant it as an honest description of their experience with me, not as a compliment or an insult. I didn’t know how to feel about it at first. As it sank in, I felt weird. Many people I meet and become friends with end up admiring me so much that they start acting more like fans than friends. Admiration can be exciting, but fans tend to grow possessive of their idol. And when fans don’t get what they expect from the idol, they feel betrayed.
I woke myself up from a dream, before it was too late this time. It was a sweet, sweet dream. But it wasn’t right for me. I knew that. I guess I wanted to believe it was.
My mind and heart are dancing in harmony. My body feels warm, and I have been crying more. This started after the encounter with the horseman from the valley. As we rode our horses around the ancient rocks, he sang a Navajo song about the air we breathe. His grandma, a singer and herbalist, taught him the song. I felt incredibly touched and humbled. The next day, I hiked in the biggest wind I’d ever felt. It was as if the air song called in all the winds. I felt the power throughout my body, from head to toes to my fingertips. Later, he sent me a couple of songs he sang. One of them vibrated in my heart, and the other in my throat, third eye, and head. It was a visceral experience. I felt it immediately — the healing, the opening and softening of the heart, and the remembrance of the soul.
It was a New Moon night last summer. I was loading the dishwasher and starting my nightly routine. I heard an owl hooting outside. I stepped onto the balcony but didn’t see the owl. I sat on the patio chair. A lot was on my mind. I’d been feeling a persistent, inexplicable urge to change something in my life. Then I heard the owl again. This time, it sounded really close. I looked up, around, and back, and there he was, standing to the left of me, on top of the rail. He had been there the whole time. He was letting me know by hooting. He looked straight into my eyes for a few seconds. He had such piercing, deep eyes, like the darkness of the night sky. It was as if he knew everything that was about to happen, a major, life-changing shift. Then he flew away.
The sun is my friend, not my enemy. My skin absorbs sunlight and darkens because it reflects the sun’s intensity. The darker I am, the brighter I shine. My tanned skin is a reminder that the sun is inside me. It reminds me of my joy, playfulness, and sense of freedom.
