People who talk about others who are not in the same room
People who worship figures they’ve never met
People who are overly materialistic
People who bash others to feel better about themselves
People who project themselves onto others
People who are stuck in their labels
People who blame their labels and upbringings for their misfortunes
People who keep running towards escapism
I no longer have space for these people
I need more clarity and directness
I need more complexity
I need more courage
I need more density
I need more depth
I need more kindness, rather than surface-level niceness
I need people who openly and vulnerably talk about themselves
I need people who look within themselves for answers
People who are real, even if they might appear offensive or stupid
People with a backbone
One-of-a-kind originals
In tune with themselves and the world
Passionate like fire and flow like water.
All my life, I have been searching for a teacher, mentor, role model, and inspiration
I could only find guidance in nature, not in human form
The trees listen to me
The water purifies me
The sun heals and vitalizes me
The moon allows me to reflect
The rocks connect me to my ancient memories
No human could help me
And then I realized I was the teacher
I was the mentor
I was the role model and the inspiration.
These days, I feel like I’m losing things left and right. Physical goods are breaking. People are leaving. I keep selling and eliminating stuff from my space. I don’t know what’s coming next, but all these losses feel right. Somehow, they make sense.
I transcribe what my heart is feeling into words
I don’t think
I feel
I express
Unedited
Unmanicured
I give it to you straight
It’s raw, how I do it
It’s honest
It’s too unbelievable and pure
For those who said to me
“You are all talk.”
What I thought I wanted
What I thought I needed
What I didn’t know I wanted
What I didn’t know I needed
Do I really want to do that?
Do I want to be that?
Do I want to stay this way?
Or that way?
How about all of that?
Or none of that?
Who even is this person?
Me, I’m talking about me
My ideas and perspective
Cultivated from birth to now
They are popping up in my dreams
In my thoughts
In conversations
Deep in my subconscious
Like, “Hey, we are in you!”
They are evolving and shifting
And they are dissolving
This feels unfamiliar
Yet incredibly natural
Where have I been this whole time?
It’s time to get used to this newness.
People come and go. Some stay through thick and thin. Some leave to work on themselves and their unfinished business. Some want to give me space. Very often, it’s simply that our time is up. We no longer resonate with each other. And that’s okay. We are all on our paths. We are just doing our best with what we know.
Eventually, many of them come back. They want to pick up where we left off. They want to apologize for disappearing. They want to defend themselves. They want a closure. They want a new beginning.
Reconciliations are interesting. I welcome them. The reason is this: I’m fascinated by how we evolve and grow when separated from those we used to have a tie with. It’s amazing how much we can change if we move with intention. Such change is totally possible. I’ve done it. People close to me have done it. Sometimes, the only way to our truth is through detaching ourselves from outside influences and tending to our needs in solitude. How can we see things clearly when our world and perspective are chaotic and clouded?
It also stuns me how little some of us change. Or should I rephrase, how some of us refuse to change. These people often seek external validation for their happiness and fulfillment. They want to feel needed and loved. It’s very human. We all want to be loved. But when the need is excessive, it creates a toxic, helpless loop that never ends. It’s painful to watch, especially when it’s someone we care about.
