The other day, I was talking to a friend. He was heartbroken because he and his person love each other so much, but they are not together at this moment. There seems to be so much pain in their dynamic, as much as there’s love. “You can’t be everything,” I said to him. He resonated. It’s been a few days since the conversation, and I’m starting to feel differently about what I said. Why can’t we be everything to the one we love? How wonderful would it be if we could be everything to each other? To pour into each other with all we have? I want that.
A few years ago, I got a cocktail at a bar and didn't get a tiny umbrella on top, like everyone else. My overreaction to the “mistreatment” led me to a homecoming to my essence and a major recalibration of how I see the world.
New York City. Old loft building. I enter it through a heavy wooden door. Looks like warm cherry with a reddish tint. There’s a living space as soon as I enter the apartment. I walk into what I think is the kitchen. Instead, it’s a long, narrow room with a bar counter. There’s still a bunch of stuff the previous resident left. The walls are floor-to-ceiling bookshelves. They are filled with old, dusty books. It’s a library. The structure is dark, heavy, and gnarly. Almost no natural lighting. At the end of the room is a small stage where musicians perform. It’s a bar. It’s a venue. It’s a gathering place inside the apartment.
Every year around this time, I dream of this exact loft and library bar.
I don’t want to play a game
I don’t want to play a role
I don’t want to play a character
I don’t want to play a victim
I want to tell my stories
With my words
In my voice
I want to go where my heart and soul want me to go
I want to do what I’m excited to do
I want to be me wherever I am
I want to be me no matter who I’m with
I raised a puppy to realize that living with a dog was not for me. In today's bittersweet episode, I reflect on the time I was a dog mommy and the realizations I gained about my desires and preferences.
Today, I'm feeling extra candid. Hear me elaborate on how clearing physical, digital, and habitual clutter associated with the past has given me clarity, contentment, and peace.
Talk to Fa Podcast - “Declutter for Peace” (S1 E9)
