i went to joshua tree on a whim i woke up hearing a voice in my head “go to joshua tree” and i said to myself out loud “i am going to joshua tree today”

this is how most of my trips happen

i was a bit daunted by the drive getting there i doubted if i was really going to enjoy it even if i knew i was going to

i set the destination to my favorite spot in the park it’d been 4 months since i last went there back in june

i got to the spot went inside the rocks immediately, felt at home at peace at ease i was in my element “i am happy” made me smile

i stayed there as long as my heart and soul needed me to when i was satisfied, i came out and explored the surroundings i then drove to the nearby trail and found a rock to sit on to enjoy the sunset i lay on the rock i carefully chose i sat i closed my eyes and opened my heart and my palms i saw a green heart in the direction of the setting sun i absorbed the energy from the rocks through all the touching surfaces on my body this is why i came here and this is why i will be back i felt empowered energized recharged

“i am home”

after the sunset, i drove west toward the remaining sunlight cruising slowly through the joshua trees it felt like they were sending me off on a good vibe sky turning from indigo to creamy orange it’s beautiful it always makes me tear up, the colors by the time i reached the exit, the sky was dark it was nighttime

the drive home felt quick i should do this more often.

#journal

nothing matters yet everything matters

everything means nothing yet everything means everything

it is what it is let it be what it is it just is.

#journal

it could actually be all simple?

#journal

my soul has lived many, many lives my intuition is not random it is the accumulation of knowledge and experiences from my past and current lives

#journal

Growing up, I was encouraged to eat everything. As a result, I became a good, non-picky eater. However, I am learning that my body is just not happy with certain foods.

Spicy chilis make my stomach upset.

Nightshade vegetables, non-raw milk dairies, shellfish, and blue fish make my skin itch.

Overprocessed gluten inflames my muscles and joints.

Refined sugar gives me a brain fog. I feel weak and stupid after consuming sugar.

Coffee makes me jittery. I used to think that was normal, but I didn’t want that to be how I felt every morning.

The morning after consuming alcohol, my skin feels dehydrated like a desert. I see wrinkles on my face that I normally never see.

So I’ve removed these foods from my diet. Of course, I make exceptions from time to time.

Some of these foods were harder to let go of than others. I used to love hand-pouring coffee. I looked forward to the ritual every morning. Weighing the beans. Folding and setting the filter. Pouring water slowly as the beans bloom and the aroma fills the air. Many evenings, I enjoyed a glass or two of red wine. Sometimes I’d sip on añejo tequila or mezcal. And I’d do that while watching the sunset or listening to music.

One thing about me, I do not like dwelling on the past and what’s no longer working for me. I enjoy adapting to new ways, and I did.

Now I am a very picky eater. I listen to my body and what it needs/does not, and I really like how I feel with and from what I eat.

#healing #journal

It’s cool to be able to do something I was too scared to even try. Back in August 2023, I wrote about my headstand progress and how fear was getting in the way of me going up vertically, rather than lack of strength or balance. Now that I’ve made friends with fear, I’m also realizing the importance of upper body strength in being able to hold the posture. I love new discoveries like this through a new challenge. I love that part about myself.

#journal #yoga

I’ve come to embrace I’m not interested in stories written by others. Films, books, shows, talks, etc. It doesn’t matter if they are written by the greatest writer in history. Simply, they are not my stories. I love the fact people create and put them into the world to share, and sometimes I relate and resonate with some. But on a personal level, I’m solely interested in the experiences and interactions that happen immediately around me. Not yesterday, not tomorrow, right here right now.

#journal #stories

It’s 9:30 pm on December 31, 2023. I’m so done with 2023. It was not a fun year for me. It was rather a year of restoration, rediscovery, and preparation.

I still wanted to reflect on and list all the good things I did for myself before the year ends.

• strength training and hot yoga
• improved headstand and other inversion poses
• improved flexibility and mobility
• stretching rituals every morning
• more meditation
• more walks
• more time alone
• daily and nightly journaling
• dream journaling
• painting as a way of visual journaling
• framed and hung my art
• started offering intuitive healing
• shared my writing more openly
• started acting on intuition
• spoke kindly to myself and others
• spoke honestly with my parents
• spoke less and listened more
• better boundaries to protect my energy and peace
• stopped talking to flaky friends
• went to bed earlier
• slept more
• quit alcohol
• quit coffee
• quit cannabis
• quit refined sugar
• quit heavily processed foods
• quit seed oils
• ate mostly organic
• ate more red and organ meats to rebuild the foundation
• intuitive eating
• stopped buying paper towels and cleaning products
• got rid of toxic nonstick cooking pots and pans
• parchment paper instead of foil
• glass instead of plastic
• read and listened to books and talks relevant to where i am in life
• was selective about what sources of entertainment to consume
• sold my tv
• took better care of plants
• fixed basic home repairs on my own
• got sun on me during the day
• simplified skin/body care routine and products
• stopped wearing makeup regularly
• wore more cotton and natural fabric for underwear and clothes
• got rid of lots of physical clutter at home
• got rid of most of my fashion jewelry and only kept what i love
• decorated my place only with items i love

#journal

A shaman I met in Central America once told me that one of my biggest challenges would be to single out what my gift and purpose are.

He said because I’m skilled at so many things on an exceptional level, people are going to project their ideas onto me in regards to what I should do or who I should become.

When I heard that, it brought me a big sense of relief. It’s true, I’m naturally good at many things. But that doesn’t mean I want to pursue all of them.

This entire year, I’ve been a hermit. I shut down a lot of outside influences and tried my best to get to know me again.

I’ve learned that I don’t need much to be happy and content as long as I have my health and my own company, I must protect myself around those who are energy drainers while staying open and kind, and that I don’t like a lot of things I used to think I did.

And I have a deep inner knowing. My soul is very, very old.

#journal #healing

I have no desire or patience to explain myself.

If you get me, that’s lovely.

If you don’t, no amount of explanation is going to put us in natural alignment.

#journal