I’ve come to embrace I’m not interested in stories written by others. Films, books, shows, talks, etc. It doesn’t matter if they are written by the greatest writer in history. Simply, they are not my stories. I love the fact people create and put them into the world to share, and sometimes I relate and resonate with some. But on a personal level, I’m solely interested in the experiences and interactions that happen immediately around me. Not yesterday, not tomorrow, right here right now.
A shaman I met in Central America once told me that one of my biggest challenges would be to single out what my gift and purpose are.
He said because I’m skilled at so many things on an exceptional level, people are going to project their ideas onto me in regards to what I should do or who I should become.
When I heard that, it brought me a big sense of relief. It’s true, I’m naturally good at many things. But that doesn’t mean I want to pursue all of them.
This entire year, I’ve been a hermit. I shut down a lot of outside influences and tried my best to get to know me again.
I’ve learned that I don’t need much to be happy and content as long as I have my health and my own company, I must protect myself around those who are energy drainers while staying open and kind, and that I don’t like a lot of things I used to think I did.
And I have a deep inner knowing. My soul is very, very old.
My mom did this arrangement for me on my birthday. She said she wanted to express the essence of me with those sunflowers, vivacious tropical leaves, and horizontal shape. I love it. I especially love the dynamic shadow it creates.